Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

You are like me, then.

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

Doesn't Musk hire Security for his Tesla dealerships?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

I was tired of fighting.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

Were the 1980s as uptight and prudish as movies and TV shows make them out to be? When I think of 80s culture, I think about a very "icky" judgmental yuppie status quo time period.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

It’s here now, writing to you.

Do you think the constitution and laws should be taught in school?

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

It’s still here.

And the sadness?

Atheists who said that reading the Bible made them an atheist, how? Literally there are millions of people who read the Bible daily and still believe in God. So why say that? I mean unless you want to sound smart & edgy

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

I had run out of hope.

What's it like to have an IQ of 140 to 170? Do people notice you're different?

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

The sadness was still there.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

How rough can the ferry passage from Hull to Rotterdam be in the autumn ( at the end of October )?

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

Do you as a gay male enjoy the feeling of getting a penis in your anus?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

What is your analysis of Walter White from Breaking Bad?

I was tired of trying and failing.

Be who you already are.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Why are women attracted to ugly guys?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.